Answer

"The memories I keep are from a time like then
I put on my paper so I could come back to them "
- FRGT/10
“Write something to suit yourself and many people will like it; write something to suit everybody and scarcely anyone will care for it.”
-Jesse Stuart
“I write because I hate. A lot. Hard. “
-William Gass
“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.”
-Joan Didion

Emmi, You said that these are honest words from someone who claimes to hide behind masks. I think I mentioned this earlier somewhere, but anyway, I try to be honest here. Both to explain to my friends why I do the things I do and tell them I need someone to talk to. Sometimes it is easier to talk when they have some background info, than just go and say “ Hey, there is something I need to tell you.” I also write to get things out of my system, like the first quote says. When I have them on paper I do not need to remember and I can store bad memories and worries away in my brain. This have also become sort of an scrap book of feelings, daily experiences. Well, in short it is a diary, I tried to write a regular diary, but did not manage because it was like “ Why am I spending time on this, it won’t be read anyway.” Now I have the illusion that somebody reads it and that keeps me writing.
Why I am honest. Well, first of all it is easier to be honest when you’re staring at a screen and not looking someone in the eyes. And someone once told me that I should try to let the masks down once in a while, that keeping them up all the time might cost more than that defence is worth. So I am trying to honest to keep myself sane..