Broken

She told me I am beautiful.
I want to believe her, but I can't. It is not me being humble or modest, I just can't believe her. There is this little voice muttering "She is only saying it to be nice". Curse them. Curse them for making me doubt myself, for telling me I wasn't beautiful, curse them for telling me I am ugly and disgusting. Beauty comes from within it is said, I tried believeing that. I even menaged to trick myself into beleiveing that I am cute, pretty or even sexy, but beautiful, no. I have issues with the way I look, you all know this. And it is not only the parts I could do something with if I worked out more or took care of what I eat. To make me beautiful would require surgery, possibly a completely new body. I wish I hadn't been broken this way, I wish I hadn't believed them. People might not see this when they look at me, but I am truly broken. There are wounds that will never heal, scars that won't go away. Only my wounds and scars are on the inside, they can be hidden from everyone else, but I'll know they are there.