Behind Blue Eyes (By Limp Bizkit)

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

For once I am going to let you see some part of me I not often show, to be honest only one or two people have seen this side of me. Everybody else get to see the shield I build to protect myself. From what you might ask, the world, other people, their comments. From myself.

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

For many years I have gotten comments from people about the way I look and act, even about my believes. After many years I didn't feel their comments anymore, my shield was working. I didn't hear what I didn't want to hear. But still, their looks and quiet wispering behind my back hurt. Everybody else had boyfreinds, but no one liked me.

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

I have never cut myself, I do not have the courage it takes, pain is one of my main fears in life. But I have made another kind of wounds. Wounds that won't heal, they will never go away. You won't see the scars unless you get under my skin, and I trust you enough to tell. The scars are not visible. Over the years I have grown to believe what people said, it was what everybody said, how could it not be true? And when I am feeling down, tired or weak I remember them, and believe. I used to have being academecely better as a last defence, but after joining RCN and become friends with people like Anton and Thomas, less than average seems to be my life. I am less than average in everything I do and that is all I'll ever be.

There you have it. I have given you a glimpse of the Tonje underneeth the layers of shields. Now tell me, is she something to keep? Or should I keep up the appearnce?

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.