A Sad Day

This is a sad day, or have been it for the last 6-7 hours. I am victim to this kind of sad restlessness. And I know I should study, I really tried, but nothing seemed to stick. I am restless. I don't know what to do. I don't want to do anything. I feel lonely. Nobody's here. I feel I am slipping down into a dark hole of sadness. No-one to drag me out of it. I went to the island to sing and cry. Listing to 'Mad World'. A sad day indeed. I just feel down. I wish I knew why. Nothing bad have happened. I am just sad. The dreams in which I am dying are the best I've ever had I don't want to go on. I am ready to end it all now. Just slowly slip under the surface and rest. Rest sounds good. It can't be that painful. And anyway pain is not always a bad thing. All I want is for this humiliation and mental pain to end. I just need a way where no-one who doesn't deserve it get blamed. I wanna drown my sorrow. No tomorrow, no tomorrow. Tonight is the kinda night where I'll drink or swallow what ever makes me stop thinking. Too bad the alcohol I got is not the kind fit for these kind of nights. I need vodka or something like, what I have is beer and whitewine. Wine could work. But I want to enjoy that wine. And I don't only want to get tipsy, I want to get so drunk I can't keep my eyes open. A bottle of wine is not enough, not even for me. But no, I have a physics test tomorrow, don't want to be hang-over. And we have a no drinking policy in the room.