"I am loosing his freindship. He has already lost mine."-Me
I am loosing one of my best freinds. The problem is that I don't have time to visit him all the time and he refuses to visit me. I have given up on this freindship. I don't want to be the one who put in all the effort all the time. But at the same time I don't want to say it is over again, I did once and he talked me into giving it a second, or is it third, try. I can see how much he enjoys my company when we go to dinner or when I just to drop by for five minutes, and I feel how much I do enjoy his. I miss the way last year was, when I had time and a reason for living in his room. And sometimes I feel guilty because I know that if I only go and visit him more often I know that I can, maybe not stop but, slow down this breaking up. Some one also told me that he does not intend to keep in touch with any of the people here, that we are not important enough for him. That has also set me thinking, am I willing to put all this time and emotions into a freindship that might end in a few months anyway? And then we were dissussing US universities and it sounds like he would come visiting me if we both get into the places we want. I get confused, what is right? Maybe I should talk to him about it? The worst thing is that now, when I do have time to hang out with himand take all these serious talks with him, he's not here. That is another thing that is nagging me. For cristmas he is traveling around Europe visiting people, and now during novemebr break he is visiting a roommates place, but he hasn't asked to come t my place. It might be just my imagination, but it feels like another proof that I am not important enough. That I am not a person he likes to hang out with. He told me that once, that sometimes he can't stand being around me, another reason why I don't visit that much anymore, how can I know when those times are? I was willing to put so much into this freindship, it used to mean so much to me. Now I just feel like the title of this post " I am here for you if you only care" -James Blunt. But if he doesn't start showing me that it means something to him, I won't be there, then there are other people more worth my love.
1 comment:
Damn him! If he doesn't learn soon, forget about him. T is an arrogant bastard most of the time, although he has his good moments. The question is, if you want him as a friend, and you are willing to spend the time, would he still want to stop talking to you when the year ends? He can't chose to end something that means something to him. Even if we all leave in a few months.
I make no sense, do I?
Listen. If he doesn't put an effort into it himself, it won't work, and will be an absolute waste of time. If you talk to him, and make sure he makes an effort himself, it will work.
It has to be a give and take. You both have to reach out for each other, otherwise you won't reach him.
Hey... I'm still here...
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