A new start, another dawn, a fresh beginning

a clean, white canvas to paint.

After talking to Emmi, Thomas and Bunny, I have decided upon giving myself a new chance. For once really try to happy with who I am, to let go of the self hatered and disgust. I hope it is going to work, for the first time I really want to like myself. For those of you who get to go to my art exhibition, take a look at 'my book v.3'. This was made right after I decided to change and it really shows, at least I can see it. I don't know if this change is the main reason, but this last half week I have been a lot more happy than the weeks before, even if I have been stressed with art. Or maybe because I have been stressed, I know it is over soon. All my peices are up and all I have left to do it put up name tags. That is one big stone of my shoulders, now there is only 5 to go. Suddenly the peices are beginning to fit together, I realise how important my art theme was for me, the theme was: identity, who am I? I got to stare myself in the eye and realise that I didn't like what I saw and needed a change. And just at that point Emmi came with a good point, "Thus, I can't nor do I want to sing the same song to you. I shall just say that the best person to love you lives in you. Now I am becoming a cliché-o-matic but I believe that no love will come to you if you are incapable of loving yourself. It's by no means easy but it is possible. Love yourself and believe, truely believe that you are worthy of all the love one person can possibly receive. When you can do that, you're further than half-way. And I for sure believe you are worth it." Thanks for those words Emmi, they started a snow-ball rolling, now all I can hope for is that it will keep building. Your timing is perfect, warm words when I needed them the most.
Sometimes the ball is going to need help, it has at least twice in the last half week. And thanksfully I have people like Lorena and Danna in those times, who gives the little push needed. Thank you. It also started with spinning fire, and wearing spikes, the confidence you get from those is wonderful, and so easy to belive. So yeah, this is the newbegining. Project: liking myself (working title) is offically launched.