Send me an angel

Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now

This song is one of my all time poi-spinning songs, thanks to some guys from Taiwan and Google video, see link in title. They use this song in one of their videos that I have watched quite a lot, it is great inspiration to watch others spin. In short it contains two of my obsessions, fire and Asian guys.
This song has been made so many versions of, a simple search gives you like ten different bands, and I first got to know the Paul Okenfold version then the Deadstar Assembly one. I think the lyrics are the reason why so many people connect with this song; I know they are the reason why I do.

Do you believe in heaven in above
Do you believe in love
Don’t tell a lie
Don’t be false or untrue
It all comes back to you
Open fire on my burning heart
I’ve never been lucky in love
My defenses are down
A kiss or a frown
I can’t survive on my own
If a girl walks in
And carves her name in my heart
I’ll turn and run away
Everyday we’ve all been lead astray
It’s hard to be lucky in love

How true, it seems to be very hard to be lucky in love. And the turn and run tactic is defiantly the easiest, and in my case seems to be the best. Over the last year, my defenses have been down and ah well you all know the story.

It gets in your eyes
It’s making you cry
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to do
Looking for love
Calling heaven above
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now

I have called out for an angel, but my view on angels is slightly twisted, so I might not deserve one. Some time back, I think it was in Hong Kong or right before I had this horrid realization: next spring I am going to be 20 years old, my teen years are over and there’s so much I have missed out on. Sorry for making this into another love rant but this is something that have been bothering me for weeks now. And for Thomas who always say, don’t worry, you’ll find love, you’re to young to worry about that (and thanks for saying that by the way, sometimes you believing in me is all that I need), somewhere between a third and a fourth of my life is gone, and these are supposed to be the years where it is easy to find love and have fun. I don’t know how it is for you, but here your teen years are the years you have fun and fool around, once you turn 20 you have to be all serious and grown up. I never got a chance to fool around, not once. Some times I look back and I wonder what I could have changed, I look to the future and wonder if I have the will power to change it now.

Empty dreams can only disappoint
In a room behind your smile
But don’t give up
Don’t give up
You can be lucky in love

I used to blame it all on myself, I was too fat, ugly, geeky/nerdy or simply not a person you wanted to be around. But thanks to Thomas, Danna, Bunny, Emmi and others that attitude have changed. I am happy with the way I am now, I have my things I love doing and those are things I wouldn’t give up anything, anyone. They are part of the package, take it or leave it. These include, but are not limited to: poi, RPG, larp, music, books, and games. And if people do not want to be with me because of these and/or the way I look, too fucking bad for them, then they are not the sort of person I neither want or need.

It gets in your eyes
It’s making you cry
Don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to do
Looking for love
Calling heaven above
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now

However I know myself enough, to know that I might have the sort of breakdown I have described above again, I probably will. I might walk up to you and scream: “what the hell is wrong with me? What do I need to do to change it?” And I still me wanting an angel, I like them, they’re good looking, fire twirling and easy to corrupt. *Big evil grin*

Send me an angel
Send me an angel
Right now
Right now
Right now