I don't have time.

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” -H. Jackson Brown

I have 24 hours a day, just as much as anyone else. Yet people seems to be able to do so much more in their 24 hours than I am in mine. Other people seem to be able to balance getting good grades, work, spend time with their friends, be active in sports and get enough sleep. I am running on engery reserves I didn't know I had. It is a miracale I haven't fallen asleep in class yet. I though I knew how to manage my time. I really thought I did. Apperntly I don't. It is in times like this I get insecure and wonder if I really have done the right choice in studying engineering. Is this how it is going to be for the next four years? I don't know if I can handle that to be honest. I am so tired that the moment I don't hva eanything that require my full attention, I fall asleep. For the last half week or so, I haven't had time to spend with Hope and I feel bad about that. She does not deserve someone who don't have time. I try, but I am working and in meetings untill 10 in the evening almost everyday. There is also Sonia and Ulrika who I only get to spend time with once a week. They are my friends, I should spend time with them.
It might also just be this week being insanely hard: two math tests (one take home and one in class), engineering paper and presentation, loads of history reading, chinese test (tomorrow(help!)), my mom comming tomorrow (must clean room) and DMing a one shot on friday that require among other things 8 pre-gen characters. I can honestly feel the knots form in my shoulders.
I feel that I am not good enough, the moment I am done with something, I have ten more things to get done. I need a break, I need sleep.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

-Angel by Lisa Lynne