Manners

manner

• noun 1 a way in which something is done or happens. 2 a person’s outward bearing or way of behaving towards others. 3 (manners) polite social behaviour. 4 a style in literature or art. 5 literary a kind or sort.
-askoxford.com

Manners, manners, this funny word we have on the unwritten rules of how we behave in social groups. Lately it have been getting to me how much these seem to be lacking in the group I hang out with.

This last week I have been highly bothered by a few very vocal people's inability to grasp the fact that people might have other opinions. It have been particulary bad about this one book we have been reading in class. Now, it is ok not to like a book. I have several of these books I do not like. But what I have a problem with is when people are being rude and people with other opinions are not voicing their opinions because they feel like they will get their head torn off. Also I think is exceptionally rude to tell the teacher that you think of reading this book as a punishment when he has been open about the fact that he likes it and hand picked it because he thinks it has good qualites.

So rule 1. Don't say 'This book is crap', say 'I think this book is crap'. That way you don't make people as uncomfortable.

This year there have been a lot of issues with our club and the table. One important thing to remember is that the club is bigger than the table. And I know, in fact I have felt this way myself even being a part of the table, that many people don't get a lot of the inside jokes in this club to begin with and having games where all we reference is stuff that have been going on with the table is beyond bad. Some jokes not every one will get. That is a by product of spanning as broad of an audience as we do. At my first meeting I got more than a bit terrified of the members of the club. I felt that I wasn't good enough for this club because I couldn't even catch half of the references. If it hadn't been for Miriam, Hope and Eleanor I probably would not have gone for the first long time. In certain games this is not a bad idea, but when only one or two people in the entire group knows what you are talking about, a versus battle can become extremely boring. It is also the fastest way of making sure that we will get very few members in the comming years if all we talk about is characters and events that they have no reason to know or learn about.

rule 2 Don't add things that only two or three people will know about to the hat and in the case of say botticelli don't use something that the person can't possibly know.

Stop the hate. Yes exactly that. As most of the table is either on council or on the rising council we have are the face of this club even when we are not on council meeting or in club meetings. As such we can not afford to let our feelings about members of the club show. I am talking about a few members of the club and I am sure everyone involved know who I mean, if not ask me and I will explain. It is fair that you don't like them and rather not spend time with them, but I am sorry to say when you took this job on council you said yes to reprecenting the club and the club can not hate some of it's members. It is also not our place to bitch about said members in front of other members as I know have happened on several occacions.

rule 3 Stop the Hate

Not every one are into your fandom. Gasp! No seriously. Not everyone is interested. And while it is ok to mention it to make other people aware of what is out there to enjoy. Really when it becomes all you talk about it is too much. I am really tempted to just yell Get a LIFE! but I won't. Because I don't like that saying. So, the world is bigger than that and not all of us care. If you want to talk about it and only it, please do us all a favor and find someone like minded and have a quiet conversation so that the rest of us can have a conversation more people can participate in.

rule 4 Don't dominate a social setting with only one topic that only you and a few others are really interested in.